Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
