a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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