tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
