Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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