Pappa wants mamma naked
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sorry about my life...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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