twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
