ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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