Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
