i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
