its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
