We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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