He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
