Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
