The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
