Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
