Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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