ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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