We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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