whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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