i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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