How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
