So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
