I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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