i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
