I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
