whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
