Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
