I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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