Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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