I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
