Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
