I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
