Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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