...so i touched it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
