So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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