I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
