Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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