So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
