can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
