Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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