i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
