Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
