Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
