I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
