i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
