Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
