So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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