i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
