the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
