I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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