dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
