can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
