could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
